The servants came home on Sunday and presented me with a toy mouse made out of hessian.
‘That should last a while’ they said.
After they went to bed on Sunday evening I set to work perfecting my disembowelling technique with full force and vigour. On Monday morning the man servant had to pick up all of the white stuffing that had come out of hessian mouse. I had done a really good job because not only was the stuffing over the landing but I had managed to get it to go down the stairs as well. They just don’t make consumer goods to last anymore.
They have given me a second one to destroy, sorry, should have said play with. I will leave that one for a couple of days before I lay into it.
Speaking of not making consumer goods like they used to the man servant’s Blackberry had to be taken back to the shop for a quick repair. I would see him using it and then get very frustrated when it switched itself off, usually halfway through some important email or text. Then to restart it he would have to remove the battery, reinsert it and hope for the best. When he first did this it really looked like he knew what he was doing but I soon realised that when it did start up again it was more a matter of luck than skill but he was happy because he had ‘fixed’ it himself and what right do I have to disillusion him.
A T Mobile definition of a quick repair is four weeks minimum. No chance of a ‘like for like’ replacement for the duration. He has been given a Samsung thingy about the size of a packet of ten cigarettes. No internet connection, no camera, a clumsy keyboard and at the shop they forgot to transfer his contacts over as well. So if there is a lack of Facebook postings during the day for at least a month from him you now know why.