Omar’s Diary 10th March 2015

Omar waiting by the phone

My diary maintenance has slipped lately. I think Samuel Pepys had the same problem a few times when he was busy trying to keep a diary, run his household and work for the Royal Navy making sure that the men at sea were properly fed were just a couple of his distractions. My problem has been that my man servant, who does my dictation, has been somewhat pre-occupied over the last three weeks.

For two weeks he has been suited, booted, out of the front door at seven in the morning and not home until seven in the evening. Poor chap, he did look rather drained a couple of times when he did get home in the evening. Then last week he was not feeling too well but now things have, how shall I say; returned to normal in the world of Omar.

Lady servant has been based at home quite a lot over the last few weeks as well. I know man servant does try his best when looking after the house on his own. Making sure I am comfortable but it always seems better and warmer when lady servant is around. I do give him the run around though when I can.

As you can see from the picture I have tried to help by listening for incoming calls for either of them.

Another pre-occupation of man servant has been getting his first essay submitted on time to the Open University for this year’s course. From what I could read over his shoulder the essay was about how politics is everywhere but not everywhere is political. His definition of politics was that it was an activity that is a mark of differentiation between his species and the animal kingdom. This is because his species ‘have to create their own way of life through struggle, debate, reason and collective decisions rather than relying on animal instincts’. Man servant is not quite clever enough to have written those words himself. He took it from one of his textbooks and I understand that he used The Harvard Referencing system for this definition in his bibliography. Harvard? Only the best will do.

I would beg to differ from the sweeping generalisation about politics marking the difference between servants and the animal kingdom. I am of course speaking on behalf of felines and not any other animals and from my own experience, not from learned papers.

There is politics going on all the time in this household between myself and the chavs. We are constantly competing for power over the servants and each other so we can protect and enhance our own self-interests which is, and I am being totally honest here, food. By remorselessly working on gaining the servants sympathies and affections with cuteness, cuddliness and a willingness to pose for countless selfies I have made sure that I am always favourite and therefore the first to be fed. Although there are two chavs, which in a democracy would mean they could set the agenda with a simple majority vote I am bigger than them and can get my way with only the threat of force. Very rarely have I had to do more than raise a paw and they retreat. You see, we felines can reason about our daily struggles and create our own way of life but without so much of the debate or collective decision making that takes place in a political community.

Over the last couple of weeks man servant has remained at the bottom of the fantasy racing league. He has now called this position ‘the barnacle place’. He has got beyond depression about it and has resigned himself to remaining there for the rest of the game. His mood was lifted a bit last night when he saw that Arsenal beat Manchester United 2-1 in the FA Cup. It is Cheltenham Week this week and I have only just managed to restrain him from posting his racing selections in my name. Please, if you see any racing tips published under my name then please treat them as a financial health hazard. I can accept no responsibility for what may befall you if you are taken in.


About alangrenville

I live in southern Britain near the fabulous New Forest. While studying for a BSc in International Studies I have developed a strong belief in 'NIBAW' or 'nothing is black and white'. Hence my favourite saying "Too often we...enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought" (John F Kennedy).
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