Omar’s Diary – 11th march 2015

Omar in full repose

My understanding of the recovery position

There was a flurry of phone calls on Tuesday night and serious conversations between the servants. Then man servant went out and did not come back until gone midnight. He looked tired when he came home. Despite this I did not voluntarily give up his side of the bed where I had been sleeping and had to be forcibly removed to the foot of the bed.

‘How long did you have to wait?’ lady servant asked.

‘Over four hours to be seen by a doctor who gave his opinion, told Dad (senior man servant) he could be discharged once he had made a couple of phone calls’ man servant replied.

‘That is terrible. They missed their target that night’.

‘And I have to take Dad back tomorrow to see a specialist as well’.

Both the servants then went off to sleep. I know man servant did not sleep well as I kept getting disturbed by him moving around and what with his snoring when he did sleep I did actually have a very disturbed night. Most inconsiderate.

On Wednesday morning man servant was up early and speaking on his mobile phone. He looked like he was very cross about something as he put his phone down. The chavs and I were served our breakfast and the servants left the house.

Felines do not measure time in servant units like hours and minutes but instead use ‘meals’.
When the servants did return, having left senior man servant in hospital overnight, it was over two meals later but there is some Confucian saying that it only takes one meal to fix a hunger so come on! Give us our kibble…..NOW! As usual and correct I was served mine first but I was so hungry I could just not be bothered to go through my routine of sniffing at the offering, walking away and then returning disdainfully to eat. No, tonight it was straight in for the full gourmet experience.

After dinner one of the chavs crossed my path on the landing and I am afraid I rather lost my rag with her. I chased her downstairs and had her cornered. Just before I could raise a paw at her lady servant picked me up and gave me a bit of a wigging about picking on girls. My adrenalin was up still when I was placed on the bed. The windows were open. I felt like taking on the world and what better place to do it than on the outside windowsill.

‘Quick get him! Omar’s walking along the windowsill!’

Those words echoed in my ears as gravity pulled me the five meters down to the ground. I landed on concrete with a bit of a bump. Must have reached a speed quite close to terminal velocity in that short distance. Man servant met me at the back door.

‘I am OK really. Just a bit dazed but otherwise fine….no need to worry….I’ll be fine’ is what I wanted to say.

My brain, through a slight shock, could still form words but could not get my hind legs to move with the grace and elegance of a ballet dancer.

A couple of minutes later I was in my cat carrier on the back seat of a car being rushed off to hospital. I know there is not much wrong with me but and I do hope that I do not have to wait as long as senior man servant did the previous night. The service was excellent. I was met at the front door, examined thoroughly and heard that there was nothing seriously amiss like a fracture or dislocation anywhere. Thank goodness for that. The nice doctor then suggested a painkiller called methadone.

‘Kittens, listen to your old mate Omar Russell…..don’t buy drugs……throw yourself out of windows and the servants will get their doctors to give it to you….only joking…drugs are bad for you’.

It was good stuff and I slept brilliantly. I heard the servants and the doctor talk about ketamine which is supposed to be hallucinatory. How far would I have to fall to get some of that?

I was back home just over an hour after my fall. Marvellous health service and so caring.

One really good thing about the fall. I got my en-suite has been restored to save me going outside.

Bad thing. I was put in my carrier and taken back to the hospital for a check-up. Excellent, just like senior man servant I am being seen again within twenty four hours. I was checked over again and it was confirmed I was in one piece. That was good really. The bad thing was that I was left at the hospital and the servants left me. Oh no, perhaps they have found something wrong and no one is going to tell me.


About alangrenville

I live in southern Britain near the fabulous New Forest. While studying for a BSc in International Studies I have developed a strong belief in 'NIBAW' or 'nothing is black and white'. Hence my favourite saying "Too often we...enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought" (John F Kennedy).
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