Both the servants were away very early today to somewhere called ‘Solihull’ some 144 miles away. Why Solihull I shall never understand? The name does not inspire any images of bucolic scenery or glamour. Solihull?
They worked very hard last night getting ready for their early departure. Clothes were all ironed and laid out over the bannister on the stairs. It was tempting to play with dangling bits of fabric but I think that would have upset them just a tad if I had rearranged everything on to the floor. If it was just man servant’s I might have caused disorder but not lady servant. Their work bags were packed and ready to go. And, they had printed off their AA Routemaster directions. Please do not ask why they are still printing off directions in this digital age. Well, if you must know my servants do not own a satnav or a tomtom. They have only just become comfortable with iPhones, iPads and Blackberries. A satnav might just be one small step too far at the moment for these two members of mankind.
Yesterday lady servant found a new brand of cat food called ‘Encore’ for me. It comes in small foil dishes and is absolutely wonderful. I will only eat fish and this brand has flakes of salmon, white fish and even bits of prawns in it.
I did hear man servant mention that he had prawns for lunch at an office he worked at and left one little prawn in the filter in the sink. This was brought to his notice when after lunch the executive assistant sent out a round robin email to the whole office declaring the person responsible for the prawn as lazy and should really learn to clean up after themselves. Man servant apparently did confess but only some four years after the event.
Sorry, I digressed. Where was I? Oh yes, fish and prawns.
When man servant served my meal last night he looked at the contents of the foil try and declared them almost fit for human consumption. I do not think so somehow. My cat food is now of the highest quality and far too good for the likes of the hired help. It is also far too good for the chavs who are still eating Whiskas.
I was so pleased to see the servants home safely for the weekend and I heard them both say they were not going on any long trips over the weekend either. They both looked very tired.
They were so tired they had just had tea and toast watching TV. The program on was all about the recreation of the stage set that was used for the very first production of Mozart’s Don Giovani in Prague on 7th May 1788. Fascinating to watch how opera singers and musicians can just burst into song as a way of communicating and expressing themselves. Man servant tries to sing but he is flatter than a snooker table.
The program showed how in 1788 the flames were created on stage in readiness for Don Giovani’s descent into hell. I really do enjoy culture. No one in the 21st Century was surprised at how many opera houses and concert halls were burnt down during that period. After all they were using brandy to create the flames with and some other chemical to make smoke.
Don Giovani’s servant is called Leperello. A faithful, obedient and protective of his master as any good servant should be. Lady servant has reached the highest standards in these attributes. Man servant still needs a bit of further training and requires some continuous professional development to keep him up to the standards I expect, especially when lady servant is away. While watching the programme I thought Leperello would be a good name for man servant but I did have some reservations.
People have a habit of trying to shorten names. Fortunately Omar really cannot be shortened but I could see problems with Leperello. It could be reduced to Lepy. Or, even worse to Leper so for the time being man servant will remain known as man servant.