Having kept away from my diary for quite a while now I hope that this posting will be the restart of a renewed effort to maintain a regular journal.
Today the lady servant was working from home. I did my best to avoid trouble but that little mischievous side of my personality could not be restrained. After whining at her for attention and then for food I gave into temptation, jumped up on her desk and knocked a few pens on to the floor. I was ejected from the office and found myself in the garden. A little later, and I must admit that I really cannot stop myself doing this even though I know it is dreadful behaviour, I became quite aggressive towards one of the chavs. For those of you new to this diary, the ‘chavs’ are a pair of fellow felines that have taken up residence in our family home without being invited.
Lady servant informed man servant of my behaviour when he returned from work this evening. And this is when I regret that he ever did a course in politics and power. Bertrand Russell described power as ‘the production of intended effects’. By bargaining with me he offered to overlook all my bad behaviour from earlier in the day on the condition that he could publish his racing selections in my name. His intended effect was to get his racing selections for tomorrow published vicariously thus removing him from a degree of responsibility if they go wrong. Oh well, everything has a price including forgiveness so on with the absolution.
Tomorrow, Saturday 10th October, sees the running of The Cesarewitch Handicap at Newmarket run over 2 miles and 2 furlongs. There will be 34 runners loaded into the starting stalls which is quite a feat and when they set off on this long race they will all be chasing a first prize of £155,625. The odds range from 7/2 for Low Key out to 80/1 for Aussie Reigns and there are bookmakers paying out on the first five places. ‘Bookmakers’, it sounds such a common profession. Why couldn’t they still be referred to as ‘turf accountants’?
Oh how I really do dread this having to put my name to the man servant’s so called selections but here they are anyway for what they are worth.
Oriental Fox (16/1). He is carrying top weight of 9st 10lbs which on the going forecast for tomorrow could cause a problem but he has been coming into form lately. That is the so called scientific reason for the selection but really the man servant likes the colours.
William of Orange (11/1) Trained at Newmarket by Sir Mark Prescott who has a knack of sending out horses to nab major prizes in these competitive handicaps. Distance is not a problem and apart from finishing 7th on his last outing has shown consistency in his placings this season. The real reason is that both the man and lady servant have seen Sir Mark Prescott on TV being interviewed and like him as a raconteur.
Aussie Reigns (80/1) This horse has absolutely deplorable form so there is no scientific reason for the man servant selecting him. His choice is purely driven by the irrationality of emotion. I also think it might be a bit of a reaction to how England lost to Australia last weekend.
Please remember that you should only gamble for fun and when the fun stops, stop gambling. I can tell you now that there is absolutely no fun following man servant’s selections so my best advice is to not even bother.