I really must apologise for the gap in my diary entries but things in the household have been rather hectic and tonight is really the first opportunity I have had to sit with Man Servant and dictate. It is also the first time I have really felt like doing this since 3rd January this year. One has to be in the right mood to hit the keys on the keyboard.
Tonight I am actually quite annoyed for three reasons.
The first reason is that my domestic harmony was seriously disturbed on Sunday. I went out for a couple of hours to patrol the estate and maintain my terrritorial superiority over the neighbouring felines. When I returned my bedroom, yes my bedroom, was in a state of chaos. All the furniture had been moved into the centre of the room. All of the pictures and ornaments had been piled on my bed, yes my bed and covered with a dust sheet.
The second reason is that my Servants in their infinite wisdom and ‘good taste’ chose colours that quite frankly would suit the interior of a very downmarket Indian takeaway. Most of the wall area is painted a sharp yellow ‘that will catch the morning sunlight’ so Man Servant tries to convince everyone. To contrast against the sharp yellow they have chosen a dark orange for the wall opposite the window and for the surrounds of the window.
The third reason is that at no time was I consulted in the lead up to this hyper DIY activity. Was I consulted about the scheduling of the project? No. Was I consulted about the impact on my lifestyle? No. Did I have any say in the colour scheme? No.
While all of this DIY was progressing I expressed my views by harumphing out of my chaotic bedroom and taking up a fixed position on the sofa in Man Servant’s assigned place.
By earlier this evening my room had been to returned to normal with all of the furniture and ornaments returned more or less to their original positions. I say ‘normal’ as those colours will take some getting used to.
Man and Lady Servant went out at bout seven this evening. I assumed, assumption to be proved seriously wrong later, that they were leaving mealone to come to terms with my new normality. How wrong my assumption was.
When they returned home there was an extra Servant with them who promptly took up residence in my room. To further my annoyance at how events were unfolding if this was an additional ServantI had not been consulted about advertising the position, involved in first read of the applications nor in the drawing up of a shortlist of likely candidates let alone inviting one to stay for a probationery period. I did my best to put on a Paddington Bear angry stare but as you are aware it is very difficult for felines to show facially how they feel.
To save Man Servant’s energy this new Lady Servant shall be referred to as ‘Prospective Lady Servant’ or PLS as if I have any involvement in this process her enagement in this household will not be going any further.
From overheard conversations PLS arrived at Southampton Airport earlier this evening. This most likely means that she is an immigrant with a very thick non English accent looking for work here in the UK. I have absolutely nothing against immigration and people wanting to better themselves just as long as they keep within the law of the land. I really hope that my main Servants have checked this lady’s credentials and references in terms of her immigration status and right to work. I would so hate it if this household was the subject of a dawn raid by the United Kingdom Border Agency officers armed with tazers. I mean, if they are going to raid could they possibly do it after nine in the morning when I have had the opportunity to finish my breakfast?
What is making me feel PLS is not going to be suitable is that she does not quite understand the protocol between Servants and their Masters, especially on first meeting. PLS insisted on stroking me and touching me which is most forward. This may be acceptable in her country of origin but over here those conventions certainly do not apply. My patience was stretched and I did wrap my teeth around her wrist without drawing blood to tell her this behaviour was not acceptable.
Also PLS and my Main Servants stayed up very late tonight well beyond normal turn in time. I might be a bit scratchy this weekend and I must advise this temperamentally and not the result of any flea or tick infestation that I have acquired.