This morning my two main Servants took Prospective Lady Servant (PLS) out to see their horses. I knew they would be away for at least three hours. This window of opportunity gave me adequate time to forage through PLS’s luggage to check her identity.
They departed in a slight panic as Lady Servant is always last to be ready to leave. In fact PLS even had enough time to have a cigarette and coffee on the front doorstep. I waited until I heard everyone get in the car, the engine start and it leave the driveway. I even heard it turn left at the bottom of the hill and speed on its way. I could then get on with my clandestine search.
My bedroom that PLS is staying in is at the back of the house so it is not possible to hear everything happening at the front.
You cannot imagine my distress as I had started a concentrated look through her luggage when there was the sickening sound of the car reversing up the driveway followed by the that loud clunk click as the front door was unlocked. My heart raced as I tried to put everything back almost the way I had found it thinking I was going to be caught red handed. Very fortunately whatever one of the Servants had come back into the house for was on the table in the hall. It was most probably Lady Servant as she is always forgetting things. Phewwwww!
My search was fruitless as PLS must have taken all of her travel papers with her. I really do not want the UK Border Agency turning up on my doorstep.
All the Servants returned home from the horses and as they say in the airline industry they had a very quick ‘turnaround’. Lady Servant insisted on having a bath before they went out again which did delay their departure a little bit. Man Servant did express some displeasure by muttering something along the lines of ‘We now have to do a thirty five minute journey in twenty five minutes’. The turnaround was quick but not exactly stress free.
I think they were taking PLS out for some cultural assimilation as I heard them mention that they were going to Salisbury Cathedral for evensong. My main Servants must think PLS needs some religious guidance taking her there for the evening. The truth is that I heard Man Servant say that it was cheaper to go to the Cathedral than to buy tickets for the cinema or theatre.
Their very late return home was laden with stress. Apparently because they were so late getting to Salisbury Man Servant had to drop Lady Servant, she of the badly timed bath, and PLS at the Cathedral while he parked the car. Of course the inevitable happened; the Lady Servants got separated from Man Servant for the service. Hoping the Lady Servants would be sensible and wait somewhere obvious, Man Servant was very disappointed at not being able to meet them and a friend who was joining them. Instead of waiting for Man Servant to join them after the service they all left for the meal he had booked leaving him wandering the Cathedral like a ghost in the freezing cold night air.
He was not very happy especially when Lady Servant told him he was ‘a bit of a grump’ at the meal.
They were home very late and insisted on staying up until nearly midnight. If this is the influence PLS is going to have on the household then I am not really sure that I want her in my employment. At least this evening she did not try to stroke me
Picture By Diego Delso, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=35319633Picture