Omar’s Diary for Easter Weekend – power cables and yellow bananas

Bank holiday Sunday

Someone said I could be a villain in a smoking jacket

Good Friday was a good Friday.

Both servants were able to have a lie in which meant that I could as well in blissful repose.

After we had all had breakfast The Servants went out in the limousine for a few hours. Now I know that Easter is a big festival and it is becoming increasingly traditional to be a time of giving gifts. So, my guess was that just like Christmas they were going off in pursuit of a new yellow banana for me for Easter. The Servants returned with bulging carrier bags. Presumably my new banana was tucked away amongst Servant kibble supplies. I could not smell anything apart from some fresh chicken.

Imagine my abject disappointment when after all the Servant’s kibble had been put away there was no sign of a yellow banana.
The Servants then set about working on the front of the house. Man Servant busied himself painting the garage door bright red to match the front door. Lady Servant proceeded to cut the grass. As Man Servant was painting the door another man servant, Darren from three doors down, pulled up in his car. He had just been playing something called ‘golf’ for the morning.

‘You missed a bit’ Man Servant Darren shouted from the car.

Man Servant as quick as a flash replied ‘I may have missed a bit but I have used fewer strokes than you this morning’.

I do not fully understand what he was referring to but Man Servant Darren found it quite amusing and parked his car.

Just as this witty exchange was going on there was a plaintiff cry from Lady Servant as the electric lawnmower chunked to a halt.

‘Don’t touch the mower…..you’ll get a shock!’.

What was strange was that Lady Servant was still holding on to the mower and not suffering any convulsions associated with untamed electricity.

Lady Servant had sliced through the power cable. Even from my perspective the cable is bright orange which must show up against green grass. She promptly tried to blame Man Servant and Man Servant Darren for distracting her.

On Saturday there was great flurry of domestic activity. The first clue that there would be guest or even guests staying was that my Servants set about putting the beds together in the front bedroom. They then proceeded to change the bedding in my room. Yes, my room again. This is twice in one month this type of disturbance has happened without warning. It really is most unsettling. While they were prepping the front bedroom they recovered one of my old yellow bananas that I had purposefully hidden about a week ago in the hope that its disappearance would stimulate the Servants to buy me a new one. This discovery dashed all hope of having a new banana for Easter.

The Servants again went away in the family limousine for a few hours. I assume they were going to collect another Servant. I must point out that my Servants are very conscientious about recycling plastic carrier bags. However, I cannot help but feel that whatever damage to the environment they are preventing this way is being negated by the amount of fuel they burn and emit CO2 from.

The mystery of who was staying was resolved when Senior Man Servant arrived. I like him very much as like me he spends quite a lot of time sleeping. Also, unlike the Lady Servant Guest with a strange accent who stayed earlier this month, Senior Man Servant is more respectful of my aura and personal space. He does not poke, prod or stroke me until I approach him which really is the correct social order.
On Saturday night I created the greatest possible disturbance that I could. Normally I sleep curled up near Lady Servant but this night I placed myself strategically in the middle of Man Servant’s bed. The only way he could get in to bed was to contort himself around my slumbering form. Maliciously I pretended to be asleep while I felt him twist and turn during the night. He did not have a good night’s sleep and spent most of Sunday looking a tad bedraggled. Then with further malicious delight when Man Servant got up in the morning to make everyone a cup of tea, he is good like that, I moved over to Lady Servant’s bed just as he came back in the room.

Happy Easter Sunday and still no new banana.

During Saturday night and into Sunday morning there was an almighty storm swept across the house. Man Servant, when he was making tea for everyone, observed that a eucalyptus tree that they had had in the garden for ten years had been blown over. This is most inconvenient to me as somehow I have to navigate through this horizontal jungle to patrol my territory.

Senior Man Servant did not feel too well on Monday morning so Lady and Man Servant made a big fuss of him, made him take breakfast in bed hoping he would feel better by lunchtime. If that was me not feeling very well I would have been taken straight to my medical centre, examined and put on drugs to recover. My Servants did call a Servants Vet service and were told that they would have to wait at least six hours for a Servant Vet to make a visit. I am so glad I am a feline and not a servant when it comes to medical care.

Post prandial, for the unread amongst you this means ‘after a meal’, my Servants made Senior Man Servant return to bed while they were out with the horses for a couple of hours. I kept a watchful eye over him as he slept listening to Radio Three. The Servants returned. Senior man Servant declared himself fit and anxious to return home. This made me very happy. Not because I was going to get my bedroom back. Really! How self-centred and selfish do you believe I am? No, my happiness was genuinely for Man Servant who was feeling better and wanted to get home.

This meant more to me than receiving a new yellow banana for Easter as I can make do with the old one.

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About alangrenville

I live in southern Britain near the fabulous New Forest. While studying for a BSc in International Studies I have developed a strong belief in 'NIBAW' or 'nothing is black and white'. Hence my favourite saying "Too often we...enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought" (John F Kennedy).
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