Friday the 3rd of June 2016 sees the running of The Oaks over 1 mile, 4 furlongs and 10 yards around the Epsom racecourse. For more recent generations the distance is 2423 metres which just takes all the class out of this great race. It is run at 1630 and can be seen live on Channel 4.
Through an act of complete ineptitude or extreme good fortune Man Servant has lost all the records of my transactions with my turf accountant, Chav. This means that my awful record over Guineas weekend in early May have been obliterated and can be conveniently forgotten like some countries who write inconvenient truths out of their historical records.
This means that I can start Epsom Derby weekend with a clear credit balance of 10 units of Dreamies, yes 10 units, to wager. I still refuse to get drawn into credit accounts that so many turf accountants offer as this could be a very slippery slope into Dreamie deprivation. And I most certainly will not take my wagering into the realms of guessing if exchange rates or commodity prices are going to go up or down. No, that is strictly for the experts.
To make my selections for this weekend the method I shall resort to is the tried and tested litter tray method. This is quite simple really. It involves Man Servant bringing the litter tray into the house and placing the race cards close to the tray. I then go into the tray, go through the motions in a purely metaphorical way and then scratch and flick bits of litter on to the race card. The horses that have the most bits of litter on them at the end of the session are my choices. For The Oaks are listed below with the odds in brackets after their names:
Seventh Heaven (14/1) – she ran 27 days ago in good company at Lingfield and acquitted herself well by winning. My contact, Tipper, who watches the gallops regularly has suggested that there has been improvement in her since that outing and the signs are good that she can stay the trip of this great race. I am wagering 1 Dreamie each way on her with Chav who has promised to pay out on the first three places.
Turret Rock (7/1) – has only had one outing this season and that was in the 1000 Guineas in early May when she finished in sixth place. I was actually enjoying this diary today until we mentioned the 1000 Guineas again but I will press on. Tipper, has seen her on the gallops and confirms all the signs are good with her so we can expect a big race from her. Just 2 Dreamies to win.
Please note; I did say that my ‘litter tray method’ of selecting horses was tried and tested but so far I have not published any results or had any peer reviews carried out.
Man Servant was able to clear some of the undergrowth from the back garden earlier this evening exposing some fresh earth in the vegetable patch. I shall wander off there now and leave him to clear up my efforts for The Oaks and prepare for The Derby on Saturday.
Good luck everyone.