Last week has been very mixed for me.
Lady Servant has been away for a few days on her travels and Omar Towers is never the same without her around. I do mope around the residence when she is away as it seems empty. The warm and humid weather of the last week has not helped this malaise very much either. I know that with my Orientalist genes my metabolism should be able to cope with this type of climate but it is difficult sometimes.
When Lady Servant goes away for a few days I have noticed that Man Servant ‘kicks back a bit. I believe that is a street language colloquialism for letting the normal standards of domestic behaviour slip. Far be it from me to tell any tales about the last few days as the relationship between Servant and Master should be sacrosanct. What happens between them stays between them, that is until I need to pull a favour from Man Servant. He holds no secrets on me so this will purely be a one way arrangement. Just like a Parliamentary party whip, I can leverage something for myself quite nicely by reminding Man Servant of something from the past.
Symptomatic of this slippage in domestic standards is that meal service does get erratic when Lady Servant is away. Instead of up to five meals a day I am cut down to three and the times these are served appear to be more random than the numbers in the National Lottery. This is not helpful to my delicate digestive system and I just hope Man Servant suffers as much as I do in these circumstances.
One event I can confidently divulge is that ‘someone’, and I am not referring to Man Servant, had a small mishap by the front door. This happened one morning while Man Servant was having his breakfast when he heard a tell-tale scratching on the hall carpet. By the time he had realised what had happened not one of the felines could be seen near the scene of the crime. From my lookout at the top of the main stairs I saw Man Servant pick up the hall mat with an annoyed and disgusted look of disbelief. As well as getting ready for work, whatever that is, he also had to clean the carpet.
What happens between the felines stay between them even if the Chavs are of the unwashed genetic strain so I will not be mentioning which one of us committed this offence. This unity, unlike that of the Labour Party at the moment, is the only way that felines can continue to strive for complete mastery of the Servant species.
Fortunately Man Servant had served feline breakfast and filled the kibble bowls prior to this morning’s panic so all was good as far as I was concerned. Otherwise, I am sure this would have been overlooked in his rush to get away. I did enjoy watching him clean the carpet.
There was another type of incident at a front door this week.
Senior Man Servant had someone knock on his door in the early evening just as he was having his tea. It was a teenager with a toddler neither of whom Senior Man Servant had ever seen before. The ‘visitor’ convinced Senior Man Servant that she was in desperate straits and conned him out of £20. The next day Senior Man Servant realised he had been ‘scammed’ and was very upset about it. My Servants were also very concerned about the incident and spent ages on the phone alerting the relevant authorities. Well, one of them at least. The local social services took the call immediately but with the police force Man Servant was put in a queue of callers and gave up after waiting for twenty minutes.
What happened to Senior Man Servant is one of the lowest of low crimes that can be perpetrated, especially against such a frail and elderly Servant who comes from the generation that wants to always believe of the best in people.
On a lighter note I have once again acquiesced to Man Servant’s intentions to offer some horse racing tips for today at Newbury and Doncaster.
Man Servant’s Weekend Lucky 15
My advice to loyal readers is to not pay too much attention to the following four selections as last week or the week before only one his choices managed to cross the line in first. I think the others are still trying to find their way home. Anyway, here are the ones for today for what they are worth:
Personally, I think his two low priced choices are reasonable but as for the others, well that is in the hands of the Gods of the turf.